Something to Believe In
by ThoseNights
Summary: With the TARDIS under repair, the Doctor and Rose receive an unexpected surprise at their doorstep. First ever Doctor Who fic, so be nice! Slightly AU. I think.


**So! Here it is! My first ever Doctor Who fanfic! Well.. my first fanfic in a while, actually. I just started watching the series a few weeks ago, and I'm only through season one on Netflix (the season with Nine). So please please please forgive me for any factual mistakes I make in this story. I tried researching to make sure my facts were right, but there is so much information out there. Just to be safe, I'm calling this AU-ish. **

**Reviews would be nice, of course. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. Though I would like to, of course.**

* * *

They hadn't planned on stopping for the night. At first, the Doctor and Rose had been content just drifting through the Vortex, debating on where and when to go next. But then, the TARDIS started failing. It began as an annoying rattling sound that intensified to a full-on crashing as time wore on. Realizing that this wouldn't be an easy fix, the Doctor made the executive decision to land the TARDIS for the night. Rose managed to convince him to stop in her hometown so she could visit her mother and pick up some more of her things.

"I'll be back in a few minutes!" She called towards the Doctor, who was trapped under the metal grating to examine the wiring. "An hour at most. Don't go running off without me." With a playful smirk, she pulled on her coat and walked out the door, leaving the Doctor to mingle with his own thoughts.

As much as he loved Rose (though he would never admit it aloud), he loved these quiet moments without her, too. It allowed him to think- mostly, about her. He couldn't believe that in just a few short months, he had fallen in love with his companion. No other partner had made him feel the way he felt about Rose. His Rose. The hand-holding, the side-glances, the flirtatious way she stuck her tongue between her teeth when she smiled... Just thinking about it all made a hot blush creep onto his cheeks.

But of course, he had to wonder when this would all end. They couldn't go on forever with their feelings unsaid. That kind of emotion just bubbling inside of them would make them both miserable. But speaking their feelings would complicate their relationship even more. There was no way that the two of them- the Doctor and his Rose- could be a couple. They were simple too different. That king of relationship would only end in hurt- on both sides. This was all providing she loved him back. Maybe she didn't.

_No_, the Doctor quickly dismissed that thought. Maybe it was just his ego speaking, but he couldn't shake the sneaking suspicion that she felt the same way about him.

* * *

"Rose!" Jackie Tyler yelled, crushing her daughter in a hug. "You're home! I thought you weren't going to be back for a few more months now?"

"We weren't. the TARDIS started acting weird so the Doctor decided to ground us for the night." Rose talked as she walked over to the fridge in search of food.

"So you're just in for the night then?" Jackie asked disappointedly. She leaned against the doorframe at the entrance to the kitchen, watching her daughter gracelessly tear into an apple.

"Sorry, mum. there's a universe that needs saving. Mutant plants, unicorns with three eyes, and all that." When Jackie didn't respond, Rose knew something was wrong. "Oh, mum. I'll be home in a few weeks. For Christmas?"

Her mum gave a small smile. "Yeah, yeah, I know. So how is the Doctor, then? Still hopelessly in love with ya?" Jackie called down the hallway to where Rose was gathering clothes into a large duffel.

Rose rolled her eyes, "Mum, we're not 'hopelessly in love'. We're not in love at all."

"Oh, give me a break!" Jackie said, "I've seen the way he looks at you. He really likes you, Rose." Surprisingly, Rose blushed. "And you're lying if you tell me you don't feel the same."

Rose gaped at her mother, trying to find the words to defend her argument. She remained speechless, however, leaving her looking like a fish gaping for water.

"See? I told you." Jackie smirked triumphantly. Zipping up the duffel, Rose sighed.

"Whatever, mum."

"Well, I don't like the idea anyway. So keep denying your feelings all you want."

Rose walked over and kissed her mother on the cheek. "Goodbye, mum. See you in a few weeks."

"What, you're leaving already? You just got here!" Jackie protested. Rose slung the duffel over her shoulder and opened the door, letting in an icy blast of winter air.

"Sorry, mum. I'll come say goodbye in the morning, before we leave." And with that, she was gone.

Outside, a woman approached the TARDIS clutching a cloth bundle to her chest. Mistaking the TARDIS for it's disguise- a vintage police box- the woman closed her eyes and slipped the bundle just inside the door. Rose ducked behind the corner of the apartment building and watched as the woman closed the door then checked behind her in all directions before slowly walking away.

"Wait!" Rose called, jogging out from behind her hiding spot. The woman turned around, startled, but didn't stop walking. Instead, she took off in a full-on sprint. Rose narrowed her eyes, trying in vain to get a glimpse of the woman's face. Her attempt failed, she cautiously turned back towards the TARDIS and stepped inside.

"Back so soon?" The Doctor called from somewhere under the console. When he received no reply, he poked his head up to glance around the room. Rose stood just inside the doors, starring quizzically down at the ground.

"Rose?" The Doctor called, "Rose, are you alright?"

"Doctor, you need to come see this." With confusion written all over his face, the Doctor strode over to where Rose was standing.

"What's this, then?" He asked, nudging the bundle of cloths at his feet with the toe of his boot. His question was answered when a piercing cry rang through the room. Instantly, the Doctor jumped back, bracing himself on the TARDIS doors. Rose, on the other hand, knelt down and picked up the bundle. She pushed back the ragged cloths to reveal a baby, it's face twisted and red with crying. A human baby. She couldn't believe it.

"What the-?" The Doctor muttered as he stumbled closer. "How did that get there?"

"There was a woman outside," Rose said absently as she stared incredulously down at the infant's face. "She put it inside the doors. I saw her. I didn't know it was a baby." For an extended moment, the only sound between them was the child's cries. Rose looked up at the Doctor, both making eye contact and sharing the same dumbfounded look. "What do we do?" She asked.

"First, you get that thing to quiet down. I'm going to replay the security tape." The Doctor walked away, shaking his head. Rose, still unable to believe this was even happening, jiggled the baby in her arms.

While the Doctor muttered curses under his breath, Rose hummed to the baby the first song that came into her head. It was an old lullaby her mother would sing when she was a child; whenever the nightmares got too bad or the thunderstorms woke her in the middle of the night. It was an old lullaby- one that had been passed down in her family through many generations. Slowly but surely, the child's cries quieted. It's face relaxed and a pair of big blue eyes stared up at Rose through the blankets. She smiled down at the babe, unable to believe she had actually managed to calm it down. At the sudden silence, the Doctor looked up from the console.

"Oi, how'd you do that?" His face held the picture of a mixture of curiosity and frustration.

"Motherly instinct, I guess," Rose smiled softly, still gazing down at the baby. She walked towards the console, sitting down on the jump seat.

"Well, there's nothing on the tape," the Doctor stated. He ambled over to stare down the baby in Rose's arms. Again, a silence passed between them. The babe cooed, waving it's small hands in the air.

"So, what do we do now?" Rose tore her eyes away and stared up into the Doctor's face. His gaze still transfixed onto the small bundle.

"Well, it's too late to do anything tonight. We keep the thing overnight and return it to the police in the morning." He said definitively.

"Oh," Rose sighed, slightly disappointed.

The Doctor sighed. He knew she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. "You honestly weren't thinking of keeping it, were you?"

Rose was quiet for a few moments, mulling over his question. Finally, she grimaced. "No. I guess not. I just can't help thinking it's fate, you know? Why would a stranger leave her baby on _our _doorstep?"

The Doctor pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tight enough to see stars. "Rose, the TARDIS is cloaked as a police box. She was looking for a safe place to abandon her baby." When he opened his eyes, she wouldn't meet his glare. God, how he hated to do this to her. "We're not the police. This is an adventure even too big for us."

Slowly, Rose turned her head to look at him. "Oh, we can save the Earth from exploding. We can save the world from an alien invasion. We can go fifty million years in the future or twenty million in the past. But we can't take care of an itty bitty baby?"

_Here we go_, he thought. "Rose, this isn't a lost puppy. It's a human being. It's a life, with the potential of being shaped and formed in whichever way the universe chooses. Do you really want a child to be raised where it's parent's lives are in danger almost every waking minute of the day?"

"Our lives don't have to be in danger!" Her voice was steadily raising higher in octave. She stood from the chair, the baby still in her arms.

Realization of what she was suggesting hit him like a brick to the face. "No. I absolutely draw the line there. I am not going to give up my job, my _life_, because some random woman mistakenly leaves a baby in our care!"

"Why not doctor? Afraid of having an actual life for once?" Rose retorted.

"I've told you before, Rose. I don't. Do. Domestic." He said through gritted teeth.

"Haven't you ever wanted children? A wife? A life where you didn't have to fight to stay alive?" She was close to tears.

"I did have a family, Rose!" He shouted. The baby, who had fallen asleep, stirred slightly. "They died. In the Time War. Love like that, only leads to hurt."

At that, her open jaw- ready for a rebuttal- shaped shut. The Doctor rarely shared any personal information from his old life, but this... this was serious. She blushed furiously, embarrassed that she had made him bring up the subject of families. She tore her glare away from his and looked anywhere but at his face. Defeated, she stared walking away.

"Rose," He caught up with her quickly, placing a hand on her shoulder. Instantly, she flinched away from his touch. His eyes closed tightly, knowing that this argument still wasn't over. "Rose, I'm sorry. But we cannot keep this child. I am not going to give up being a Time Lord just to raise a family. This is what I was born to do." He had toned his voice down a few notches to normal talking volume.

"I get it, Doctor." Her voice was small and seeped with concealed sadness.

"And what if we're out in space somewhere and we don't come back? What happens then?"

Rose turned around quickly, her dark eyes sharp against his. "I said I understand, Doctor. I'm going to clean him up and make sure he's not dying of pneumonia. Goodnight."

As soon as she was gone, the Doctor pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes until he saw red. He couldn't believe how he had just screwed himself over. Just an hour or so ago, he was mulling over how he loved her. Now there was no way she could love him back. Not after the monster he had just become. Infuriated with rage against himself (and frankly against the universe in general), he lashed out and punched the metal wall of the TARDIS. The skin around his knuckles split open, spilling sticky red blood onto his palm. Clutching the hand to his chest, he pressed his forehead to the cool metal wall. "Good going, mate."

* * *

Rose smiled slightly down at the sleeping child as she laid him on her bed. No matter how angry she was at the Doctor, there was something about a sleeping child that was so angelic, one couldn't help but smile at it. Careful not to awaken the poor thing, Rose unwrapped the ragged bundle of cloths. She discovered that the child wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, other than the diaper wrapped around his waist. Shaking her head, she walked over to the wardrobe, already knowing that the TARDIS would have prepared some clothes for her. Inside, she found exactly what she was looking for- a small white jumper and a diaper bag full of supplies.

After changing the baby and wrapping him in a clean, soft blue blanket, Rose settled the child back her arms. He had woken up from the chilly air while being changed and started crying once again.

"Sh, it's alright." She whispered, leaning back against the pillows on her bed. "It's alright now. I'm here." Again, she started to hum the lullaby. And just like before, the baby's cries quieted down to whimpers.

"You've got such pretty eyes," Rose said as she studied the baby's bright blue orbs. "Just like the-" With the realization, she stopped short. She mentally chided herself for even going there.

In spite of herself, Rose couldn't help but think what life would actually be life with a family. With the Doctor's family. No matter how much she told herself it would never happen- it _couldn't_ ever happen- the thought lingered in the back of her mind. They would have such handsome children. With his eyes and her hair. But God help them if they inherited his ears...

_No_. _No, you can't think like that._ She told herself again. _It's not going to happen._

Suddenly, the baby's face twisted into a sharp, piercing cry. Rose flinched at the unexpected sound, and started rocking the babe again. "Oh, don't cry. It's okay."

"He's probably hungry." A voice came from the doorway. In the dimly lit room, Rose could just barely make out his face. The anger had subsided, but his expression was far from jovial. Without a reply, Rose reached into the bag the TARDIS had provided and pulled out a ready-made bottle of formula. She shook it for a few minutes, refusing to make eye contact with the Doctor and hoping he would leave. Instead, he strode into the room and sat on the bed beside her.

"Can I-?" He gestured out to the baby, his eyes expectant. Rose nodded and transferred both the screaming child and the bottle to the Doctor. He fell into a steady rhythm as the baby's cries stopped altogether, a dreamy smile on his face. He looked up, right into her eyes. "I'm a little rusty at this."

She smiled softly back at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. "You're a natural. You look so comfortable."

They stayed quiet, listening to the soft sucking sounds of a hungry child. After a while, the child grew full and refused any more. The Doctor proceeded to burp him and sit with the baby in his lap. He grinned down at the babe, covering his eyes and uncovering them again in a game of peek-a-boo. Each time the Doctor's face reappeared, the baby giggled and reached his small arms in the air.

Rose watched, her arms across her knees and her chin on her arms. She let her mind drift, seeing a potential future in front of her. Is this what she wanted, though? A future with the Doctor? With children? _Yes_, she decided. She wanted every minute of it. It could never happen though. Not if the Doctor wouldn't loosen up a bit.

"Where is he going to sleep tonight?" Rose asked, slightly tired herself.

The Doctor picked up the baby, resting him against his chest. "He can sleep in here tonight, with you. It's a big bed, he should be fine." As if to demonstrate, he leaned back onto the bed, the infant still on his chest. He rubbed the child's back soothingly in small circles, his own eyelids falling slightly. Rose crawled over, laying down next to them on her stomach. She reached out and brushed some wispy dark hair away from the baby's eyes, watching as his eyes closed in exhaustion.

With her blonde hair splayed out over the mattress and her dark eyes lovingly transfixed on the baby's face, the Doctor couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked. She caught him staring and smirked. The Doctor grinned and leaned over to kiss her. It wasn't anything major- just a short peck on the lips. But it was enough.

Rose genuinely smiled for the first time that night and scooted closer to the Doctor, resting her head against his shoulder. She curled one arm under her, and slung the other one across both the Doctor and the now-sleeping baby. It was a perfect, domestic moment. Perfect, if only for one night.

* * *

That morning, the Doctor did exactly as he had said. After the babe had been changed and fed, he marched them over to the nearest police station and turned the baby in. It had been tough to explain, but the officers seemed to believe their story without much question.

With the TARDIS all patched up, the Doctor didn't want to waste any time getting back out into space. He kept rambling on about some planet in the 83rd century with the most incredible sunset that Rose just _had_ to see. She was only half-listening however. She couldn't seem to stop her mind from wandering back to the future. Her future, specifically, with the Doctor. If there would even be a future, of course.

With a shake of her head, Rose dismissed all the thoughts buzzing around her brain. She'd worry about the future when it came around. For now, she wanted nothing more than to see the "most fantastic sunset she'd ever seen" with her Doctor.

"Are you ready, then?" the Doctor smiled, leaning against the TARDIS controls.

She grinned and leaned up to kiss him, "Let's go!"

**Again, please forgive me for any mistakes!**


End file.
